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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27789613">Though pieces go missing, may we still feel whole</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kroolea/pseuds/Kroolea'>Kroolea</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Kanan (Comics), Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Depa is a mom, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Grey needs a hug omg, Minor Character Death, Sad, mentions of euthanasia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 14:23:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>708</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27789613</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kroolea/pseuds/Kroolea</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"We should talk about what happened." She doesn't want to. She really doesn't want to. But she needs to, Grey needs to.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Grey nods slowly. "We do."</p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>After Depa's return, her and Grey have an overdue chat about the loss of her battalion.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Depa Billaba/CC-10/994 | Grey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Though pieces go missing, may we still feel whole</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Wow I have been working on this for way too long.</p>
<p>ALSO I MADE PLAYLISTS FOR THESE CRAZY KIDS BECAUSE I LOVE THEM A LOT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CHECK THEM OUT</p>
<p>spotify- https://open.spotify.com/playlist/68z26CLUtmpSarSAF9UQdF</p>
<p>youtube- https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIhvUur3jrIoRnzFr8scIOX8lD-TFLqQf</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>Depa holds back a yawn. Against her, Caleb is asleep. His floppy hair is in his closed eyes. She wonders if she should wake him up and send him to his quarters. He's had a busy day, she can't find it in her to wake him up.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>The fire pops, startling her out of thought. She stares into the dancing yellow flames. The Council decided to allow them to camp out for a few days while they got acquainted.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>She wonders if bringing a child into this whole mess is the right thing. Caleb is so innocent and so young. He's barely fourteen.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Kriff, she barely remembers what being fourteen was like. She remembers disliking Master Nu's history lessons and giggling with Obi-Wan and Bant over dumb jokes they told at mealtimes.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>"A padawan, huh?"</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Grey's voice pulls her from her musing.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>"I'm sorry?" She asks. He sits across from her, stiffly.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>They haven't had time to discuss what happened before. 90% casualties in her last battalion and not a word has been spoken about it between them.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>"You have a padawan." He glances at the young boy.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Depa nods. "I do."</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>"The boys like him." Grey admits distantly. She recognizes the far away look in his eyes, he's upset.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>"We should talk about what happened." She doesn't want to. She really doesn't want to. But she needs to, Grey needs to.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Grey nods slowly. "We do."</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Neither one speaks. Depa shakes Caleb gently.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>"Go to your quarters, Little Caleb."</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>He yawns, blinking blearily. "Mmkay. 'Night Master Billaba. 'Night Grey."</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>"Good night Caleb." Depa and Grey say together. They share a glance smiling.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Depa watches Caleb, making sure he gets to the ship without falling asleep while standing.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>"There were only four survivors. Me, Styles, Big-Mouth, and Soot."</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>She sighs. "I saw. The reports..." She trails off. "How many died afterwards as a result of injuries?"</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>It was fairly abnormal for clones to die after a fight. It happened, of course. But most of the time the wounds could either be healed or the brothers died before a medic could arrive.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Grey shifts. "Ten." His voice cracks.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Depa winces. "Ten?" Grey nods.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>"Yeah." Grey sniffs. In the light of the fire Depa can see tears dripping down his cheeks.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Depa doesn't want to upset Grey but she can see the pain in his eyes. "Tal?"</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>"Died a month after the incidents." Grey stares into the fire. "He was in so much pain. I eventually told the medics to put him out of his misery."</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Depa feels tears burn her eyes, Tal was the baby of the battalion. He wad barely eighteen when he joined them. Grey had taken the young clone under his wing. He protected Tal and Depa didn't exactly understand why he was so fond of the boy.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Now that she has her own charge, she understands. If something happened to Caleb under her watch, she would...</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>She doesn't know what she would do.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>"I'm sorry, Grey. It was-"</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>"It wasn't your fault." He says gruffly. His tear-filled eyes meet hers. "Don't say it was."</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>"If I-"</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>"Blaming yourself doesn't bring my brothers back. It doesn't fix anything. Nothing that happened was your fault." He grabs her hands. "Please, don't blame yourself, cyar'ika."</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Depa sniffs. "I missed you." She buries her face into his shoulder.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>"I missed you too. They wouldn't tell me if you were alive." He rocked her gently, she lifted a hand and ran it through his short hair. It used to be longer. She wonders why he cut it.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>"I love you." She mumbles against his armor. He gives a weak laugh.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>"I love you too, Bip."</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>The childhood nickname makes her smile. She doesn't let just anyone call her that. Sar came up with it when they were very young. Depa only told Grey about it because she got drunk on the first anniversary of Sar's death.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>The fire pops, making them both jump. They're pathetic, Depa thinks. The war has changed her, not for the better.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>He sits next to her.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Tonight will be a good night though. She just feels it. She leans her head on his shoulder and intertwines their hands.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Yes, it will be a good night.</p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The nickname Bip came from me accidently saying Bippa (mixing Depa and Billaba) and thinking it was a cute nickname :/</p>
<p>yell with me about these babies on my Insta @onceuponagalaxyfarfaraway</p></blockquote></div></div>
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